Thursday, August 31, 2017

Agriculture and Mexican Fashion

Knowadays I feel like every day is a new day, but sometimes I had fear
Of my own family.

I start understanding, that when my father died, my family died,
Jorge Salinovich Coronado, my Papa, was my -all for me-
He was my everything, he would make the rest of my family
Treat me with respect, he would answer my questions, take care oof me,
And even be a friend, and sometimes I will borrow money from him.

I was scared about a guy, so different to the man I saw as a example,
That he knew he was not good enough to be with me, that attempeted
To control me, leaving me as a working woman with no self
Expression. He would treat me like nothing but ask for all.
As the fear he once felt when he lost his mother, and father at the
Same time was at the moment covered by that family once
Unknown, those who laughed, like he did about online businesses.

Today, I am no longer around that abusive humans, and I hope kne day,
That guy Carlos Hocker learns to ask not for forgiveness but for
Knowing the life as it is, in life you take risks by your own,
Not with another people.

I wish my the rest of my family and those friends I stopped talking
To years ago, not because I did not loved them, but because I found
I no longer had anything in common with them, have beautiful lifesvery far away from me.

I can be ok, or under the eyes of people with a different point pf view
I could be called crazy, in other countries girls there are tons of woman like me.

That woman succeded not because they heard, "you can't"
"You are not enough", "do it this way".

They are succesful because they did things in their own way.

For years I feel I have been lost trying to ask for forgiveness,
To comply with a role which was not mine.

He, the man I admire, was a guy once, he had fun, he was rebelious,
He did things in a different way to set the example to their brothers and sister,
To their friends, he was a student of life.
He was loyal, caring, he also had a bad temper, and was
Very sensitive, I have a strong character that hides in sweet manners,
And a always smiling face, but when I am serious or I get angry,
That genes arise, not many people know me that way, just my
Real friends and him, he also thought me to work in my patience.

My Dad passed away 9 years ago, I saw him in his last birthday,
But that Christmas Holidays I stayed in what was my home as
A tourist for 10 years, Nayarit, a place I do no longer want to
Live in.

Mexico sometimes dissapoint me, Mexico still does not
Defend or take care of their artists and artisans as it should,
Mexico es una potencia, but we have a bad administration.
Because we take care of things that are less important.

My Dad was a believer of art, he would encourage me to learn
Technology and to learn english, I know he would be amazed
To see all the beautiful things I have done with Mexico Art
All this years.

September 7 is very close and I know he is happy, and lunita,
Margarito and mi tios are with him, along my Mama Maria.
My Grandmother, Maria Coronado, a strong woman whom raised
6 man and 1 woman to be a example to follow.
She was alone very young and my father was her right arm,
He dropped school at a very young age to work.

Jorge Salinovich Coronado was even bullied do this, because
He would learn new ways of talking with working people,
But he also learnt about vintage techniqurs he brought to a new life
In agriculture, he made lines in the soild and they had to be straight
Because one reason.

One day I know we will reunite, and one day I wish him
To receive me there and let me talk until he gets so bored,
He starts talking about him too.

He would barely talk, he would never hug me, but when he did
I knew I had to listen and when he did I cherish that moment for a
Long time.

September is almost here, then October, and November,
His birthday, My birthday, more happiness to see with beautifl weddings
To come along, amazing fiestas to discover Mexico culture,
Sorry I write about him so much but He was my everything.

My Mama Maria would say he was his little boy and I would
Tell her, Mama he is my big boy now, he takes care of us.

I had the opportunity of traveling with both several times,
He went to the USA to check on my Mama (grandmothers)
Health, and then we would stop to have a bite, to shop, to sleep,
She would put me in her lap and tell me stories when my Dad was
Young.

My Dad would pretend he was sleeping, but he had his cheeks
Very pink which meant he was hearing and a smile in his lips
Which meant he was happy.

Even when he was angry at me I would know he was still nothat angry because
I could see a smile upon her eyes, the most beautiful eyes of
All the world, brownish greenish very light beautiful eyes,
Eyes with knowledge, of  guy who had seen many, had spoke
With many, had lived so many adventures, a man, who decided
To be a father of a girl, and never expected he to be different,
A father with respect to her daughter and a love I can still
Feel, this is his business and that is why I try to make it as he told
Me, that is why I do it with respect for all my clients,
Because I borrowed his last name, and he just showed
Me how to do things with love,
And how one day I will understand why, how come,
And all my questions in and for life.


Sometimes I miss him, I miss my room, sitting by the window,
Staring at the sky writing and writing so much, reading so many books
He would encourage me to seek in LibroLandia, and
Wondering if one day I could be a writer.


And realizing I was too young to share what I have learnt.

I miss all those writings because is always fun to ser what you worte
And is also encouraging, but you know?

You can always loose all and create a new life.

That, Is another thing I learnt from him.

And complain a bit, so much that you can learn from it,
And so much you never do that to others you Love.

My Dad showed me many ways, my Dad stayed until I was
Barely independent, It was very scary, and I wished I had been Alone
Because I know Alone I could have raised my self with out having
To be "like others" supposed I was.

I am a girl, a grown up one, that wishes things
Not many want, a woman who thinks a bit different,
And a gal who believes in good for all, and among that
Sometimes she forgets herself.

But that is her, and changing a good thing,
For a conventional way, just for making others happy
Well is as I asked you to change a bad thing you have for
Three good things.

I prefer to mantain my one good, and let you decide
When you leave.

Or if you stay and continue your harm,
Try not to touch up the good in me,
Because that is what makes us unique.

The Good


Random words, about life, my life,
Which is my business. Just mine.




Thursday, August 24, 2017

While in Sayulita

While in Sayulita

A while ago, while living in Sayulita.

How did I arrived? I am not particularly fond to Nayarit, actually as a Sonorense I like turquoise oceans and rivers, that is what I knew, nothing about "the little town" Sayulita, I love nature, but Sayulita was not in my Map, as I never had anything to do with Guadalajara, or places that saw Sayulita as the next big thing, I knew nothing about.

So how I went and spent 10 years of my life there?
Well... necessity, is the mother.
A broken heart, and a domestic violent environment,
The last thing said by Maria, my sister was "we are where having a great time with out you living here, that room (was mine)." (The room my father designated was for me, for my privacy, because I had bought my stuff and needed my space).

Despite my father been sick, she had other plans for that room, she invited her friend Lucia Jimenez to live rent free in my home, my father was tired, she never paid a dime for rent, as they will make my mother go and clean their mess.
My father asked me to return, and I just talked with Chary and asked to Lucia to pay rent, as the situation was not very good economically speaking.

She went mad with me telling that was not of my business and she needed a place because got plenty issues with her mother and sisters. That was weird as I personally know their sisters, and they are different but not conflictive.

Anyhow, at that point I was alone in Sayulita, scared as hell, but I had always been protected by something and knew when and how to take male hands off me if feeling awkward. What I did not know was how to deal with another man lies regarding love, he appeared smart, but as soon as I started showing my interests and well "my ways of entertaining" he would be very different, I love chess and he got angry, as in throwing all pieces when I won. So eventually I left to play that game with him.

Time went by, and I was worried for my income, and to find a place for my own, I started getting bored about paying gas, electricity, and rent, the man I was with, starting saying stuff as "you need all my attention", "I will help you with your business" and such and such, 
And stopped working at Playa Escondida the hotel where he works now, because they did not "gave him" the place "he deserved".

Anyhow, I was already busy working...

So why I did not pursue a shop in the town? 
Why not to open a place where I will make friends and meet people?

Well, because I already met locals, and I worked for several of them...
And while working as a teacher at a little school while the Mama of One of them, opened costa verde school,
Well I use to talk to "grown ups", basically I like to talk with people older than me because they are wiser, and girls around my age in Sayulita did not had the interests I got, some of them while en el camaron will loudly laugh about the fathers of their kiddos having to provide money, and that money was used not for kids for instace  they will criticize the "fat surfers" or say things about the "rich people"... so for me getting friends my age was weird in Sayulita or even San Pancho or Puerto Vallarta.

And well this was Before my business started, AidaCoronado was not my first attempt to make a business of my own.

And well, as a kinder garden teacher pre school, i met a couple, in the hardware store, next to the carpenter, there was Santos and his lovely wife, He is a rich guy from Sayulita, rich because he is "economically rich" and rich because he has "innovative ideas", we would talk about politics, when I would go there to purchase an afternoon snack for my self, a maruchan soup or some cookies, after teaching this little guys the how to to their first years (sounds easy but this years are the most important of all).

Time went by and them
Both started asking question regarding who I was and what I did, he started sharing his point of view on how the Sayulita Society,  as in locals (the community), was staying behind, "tourists" will open places to the tourism, and that did not left any $ to the sayulita community, perhaps some pesos to the employees but no knowledge or further capacities, and that was destroying the town, he once knew, the people did not care for one another as they did in the past.

A family will be left alone if the father died, a woman will need to ask for money instead of working because no one will employ her due having 3 kiddos, etc etc and so on. He would also mention that "climate change" there was a reality as people will destroy the nature, and rain will not "get stuck" in the same places making with this a warmer weather in summer days.
We will talk about the water that needed to be recycled immediately as the town needed new infrastructure to "function".
He would mention to me to work for a guy who wanted to be president in San Pancho, whom did not got any studies but money wise, was good for that town and needed direction and a political consultant.

I was happy with my job as a teacher, and say maybe later, his wife understood my love for children, and one day, I was having "no milk day" as in I needed more milk and went there to purchase some, she then told me, hey, Aida, I have organic eggs and organic milk, what are you feeding your kids with? 
If you do not have money right now you can pay me later, but here try it. And I took some and test in on me, I know how to manage organic milk, and I boiled it and dilute it and started feeding with this and with eggs and meat and more fruit than cereal, natural oats, nuts, kiwis, machaca, carne asada, and sometimes I will give a little "cajeta" to them, what I had I shared, and they started blossoming, their cheeks went pink, they will have lots of energy, and will be super interested in how make the food, wash with happiness their dishes, and even one day with out asking, one of them thank me for the food I gave him all days. 

So why spend my days at a office? When I was having a blast with this kids? We spent all summer in a pool, a costco one, not a fancy pool, one in where I have them "controlled" as in they will be safe and learn to have fun in the water, submerge, and play games.

The made my days and I made a wonderland around them, every day was different, and we have fun, but the end was almost near, I sensed something was not ok, sometimes parents do not realize that kiddos hear all, even south park things will stick, I do not watched south park so I had to ask what it was about to the parents, they will talk loud, about "things" and if a pap or mom has issues with other it will "be noticeable" in the behavior of the children.

At school I learnt how to deal with this situations and how to deal with them, but after my father passing away I could not deal with professional envies. So I behaved like them, I did not want to go to that school anymore.

And started thinking in my own business, it was time, i was offered and thank from the bottom of my heart a job at a office, another as a real state "in training" agent, as a translator and grown up teacher.

But I decided to pursuit a dream of happiness, my own business, I had one if the past and failed due bad decisions and was scared, but realized it was then or never to risk all.

I started making headbands as a project with a friend, she showed me how to make beaded bracelets and we will spend afternoons hand painting stars.

In my free time I will walk with Luna, my boston terrier, back and forward all Sayulita we visited all shops and had a blast. Tourist will love her, and locals will see her as a weird pet, i explained her breed and the more they saw her they got used to her, even jose the vet understood my love for her.

And well, So I stepped back all, and prayed for a light and one day that light appeared. I needed to work and the guy i was living with startin pressuring me with money, my dad just passed away, and he was my support in all senses. He said I "had behavior issues" and I said maybe, because I do not want to deal with people that pay me 25$ pesos for taking care of their childres 8hrs? While to an American they pay 200 hundred?
He got quiet but stated he needed money to pay the house, I will purchase all the food, for both, and stated that, i spent more. And he got quiet, but not for a long time.

So I was desperate, I did not want to return to my home town, (obviously with that people and not my father there anymore, why I needed to go back for?) my Visa got expired, so I wondered what should I do next?

I decided to open an online Mexican Shop, inspired by Nomme aunties, He was one of the kids I was mentoring in the afternoons, inspired by the guys walking long distances at the beach to sell Chiapas or Guatemala Loomed fabrics, dresses and bags.
I will be there sit with Luna and they will arrive and we will chat and talk about life, they will let me know that was their job to pay for the school of their brothers, and sisters.
Inspired by Art galleries, by amazing Mexican Artists, thinking one day I will be able to purchase one "Alexis David" original travel luggage and move on.

My idea worked pretty well, I did not have the remote idea of people around looking at it, I never had time to get inside the IP world of "whom visited your page", I was busy editing photos and posting new work, I will stay up until 8am working, and that person I was living with, and "sharing expenses". Will sleep at 11pm...
He never stayed up for a photoshop session.

The day he quit playa escondida was the day he sold a bag with Otomi embroidery I bought from a lovely girl, I bet it could be sold in 99usd, I paid a fair amount about (500hundred) he laughed, I bet the rent, and it got sold, the condition was he had to "appear in the images" not me. He did, and that was the last time he did "work", and well from there on I was pretty busy doing that stuff no one knows about.

He then would be "stranged" that I was stressed or did not slept at nights and managed to convince people and talk for me with "doctors", I mean I know that place is touristic, but geeesh don't they ever heard about or know someone who works "night shifts?"  I mean at Vallarta? I know there is people who work during the nights and sleep their 8 hours, I think he was just managing stuff to control me. He would criticize non stop, all my clothing, my photography to the point that I did as he wanted and "sales" stop until that, happened I was then allowed to work as I wished but with constant destructive non constructive critiques.

And basically,
That is how I started in the internet? 
Not wanting to damage locals, and using my education,
To allow my self a business that will not be unloyal, or abusive from people whom all their life have worked in the markets.
And I was not taking advantage of No one, as for me it was important to set the example for others.
And as well pay ver well.

Most people laughed, including him, called me crazy, and get my butt to work, I never realized it was because of jealousy.

And well, nowadays, where do you tend to shop Mexican Dresses, I still go to the vintage places and still admire walkers, travelers, and people at markets, whom generation through generation, more than 50 years ago, now what is traditional and smile when I arrive to purchase from them, because is a business and they now If I decide my mind and make a new piece, that means more business for them, the artists in small places, unknown by many.

One day I will show you, those who I admire, one day when they arrive to my party to have fun all dressed up.

I mean, if I am working and you take pics of me, maybe I will not like them, if you did not gave me chance to prepare and dress up myself.

;) we all like fancy and look pretty in images of ourselves, at least I do. šŸ˜ŒšŸ˜Œ

A story with a little bit of everything,
That was me a while ago, underrated, and underestimated, because I am
Humble? Or Modest? But Smart enough to wait, to call my self a fashion designer the day my customer did.

And well one day I left and arrived to another little town, and God knows that maybe I am indeed a city girl. Who has other kind of thoughts.

Love y Kisses from
Another town full of Stories and Art.













Monday, August 21, 2017

A Eclipse Day

Today the earth in some places will be dark,
The sun will be covered almost totally by the moon,

Is a day of change, in the rotation (traslation?) in the solar system,
Maybe you will see it and maybe you have seen it before,
I had, in a kinder garten, and at a very early stage in my life;

There was a partial solar eclipse happening, they prepared us, for weeks,
 to see it, And we will use glasses, I remember joking with my best friend from
Childhood Guadalupe Teran ;) to be seeing "the Sun", we where very young,
We where very "dared devils" and we will dare one another to see it with no glasses or
Protection, I do not remember if we did or not, but days after the Eclipse,
We will stare to the sun, or try to do it so, sometimes and because
We where curios, and ask around if looking at the sun was possible,
 we where told that in the early morning that was possible,
As the sun will not burn our eyes.

Knowadays this practice,
is called "sun gazing" and there is actually people whom
Eat or said they get their vital nutrients from the sun, standing barefoot
In the earth land.

What will you do today?
I will be packaging your pieces,
And maybe reading a bit, and lately I have been interested in writing, again.

Writing as in Journalism, or just for "the heck of it",
This, is  lt new? Or well, it is common for me,
I love to express through words, images, work, people, this
Has been a passion of mine since I am
Around 10 years old, at 13 I will swear to others, I was writing poetry,
But someone, (a teacher) will say poetry is just writen in "rhymes"
And with "certain statements".
For me poetry was talking about love or sentiments.

I was even the producer and writer at some school plays,
That won the first place as they where a bit funny but had a lot of meaning,
And sometimes did not won but received many compliments and inspired others,
I will touch themes such as "bullying" "body shame", when this terms did  lt even exists,
In my teenage years.

For some of you,  this part of me, will be something you already knew about me,
So you will say, yes That, is Aida.

My passion for the communication areas, reading, investigation, photography,
Literature and all that involved.

I did not graduate from an University, yet,
But I did finish my last work Tesina, or Thesis, and started getting it together
And present this to several teachers, or my mentors.

In 2014 I wanted to go back to Hermosillo Sonora and graduate,
With that, with my Thesis, I had 3 huge books (valued in not cheap 1500pesos in printing services each).
They where at my late fathers house, where my sisters lived along my mother.

I communicated my desire of doing so, getting my degree, and needed this work,
Not in order to get a job in the goverment, but to continue studying,
And maybe, one day, with luck and commitment become a teacher.

Maybe at a kinder or Maybe at the University,
My sisters did not care at all, and they just said, they are not here,
They where Huge Books they could not had been lost just like that.
I asked to please look for them, I really wanted to go, and they just said,
"Get over it".

When I went there in 2015, none of the books (my final work for that University degree)
where there.
My school books where in the same place I left them, All of them, from the one I saved from
The preparatoria, from Profesor Jaudiel Acosta (rip), I saved it, because
He told me one day it will be useful, (and if not "it will be part of a lovely
Library I could have), I saved and later in the Universidad, At Historia Regional
It was helpful (a lot, as I did not make my Dad spend again).
All the compendios where there organized as I left them. (Compendios are copies of books that teachers use at la Universidad de Sonora as a way to "make points of importance regarding books we will later use and consult at the biblioteca)".
They where organized by semesters.

I made it to credits for 7/8semester but got stuck
In "cine", because I was working. As in very getting serious with businesess.

I repeated classes and got bored, and well, there my tesina
Did not help as I had to comply with travels, or schedules for absent teachers
(As they did not attend class).

I did al things "the homework was sent and marked as read".
But I got a 0 in cine, as I did not attend.

But the reality was other.

I loved communication, but not to get into very social groups,
I used the knowledge to pursue my own dreams.


I went to Hermosillo, and the printed books where stolen,
Along with some "love" things I used to write about,
And other personal "things I wrote".

All the other materials where intact.

And I found out a cd, with my tesis information in the very back
Of my Dads drawer, on his side of the bed.

That is how I recovered https://imagenpublicaypoderpolitico.blogspot.com/?m=1

My final work at la university of Sonora, a state school.

Do I wish to graduate?
Maybe to continue learning
But maybe is better to continue with my pursuit,
And looking up to people who continue teaching,
Even with a post on facebook,
I am a believer That is the next step in Education,
And That facebook as a social network, more than
Just a social place, is and will later become in a platform with
Actua Tools
That will enable teachers with vocation, to provide us, what is called
Continusly Education, in a FreeLance way.

As a way for them to make an income from their knowledge,
Just like blogger is, when you decide to monetize with it.

I believe Social Platforms next step, is to create
More that entertaining, educational tools to enable
The world habitants and users to educate themselves about
Themes they are interested in.

Because closing the internet or "what is so called" restricting  etworks,
Is like adding borders to google, is like saying, google will not include altavista knowledge,
Or yahoo will not include google. (That is a methapor).

Or like instead of continued fighting against democracy pr republic,
One day we decide to unite our efforts in the well being pf humanity,
And that way, we monetize humanity, and the world,
In a way that education terminates, as in aniquilates poberty.

And we live and love in a world where no one feels hunger.
And No one goes with out support.

I mean, facebook works for that, to have a world,
A better united world.

Google is knowledge at your finger tips.

Wikipedia, is becoming Brittanica or Hispanica, or the Encarta.

We left Q basic, ICQ, MSN, to open our brains to complex DOS, and systems.

I am sitting behind a computer since I am 5, trying to understand it,
How it worked, how the parts worked, what where disks for 5/4, 3 1/2,
Cd, mp3, usb.

Knowadays our phones became little computers,
And is up to us what we put in pur brains,
What about our social networks have tools to communicate
With others, in several languages. In one place that integrates all.

Maybe is already happening knowadays.
Maybe is called the Internet Life.
And is up to us it continues free,
And without restrictions,
One day of Eclipse.



Monday, August 14, 2017

Monday Random Thoughts

Me levante con un thougth, no estaria muy raro, y seria extremadamente estupido, que, tus hermanas u otros amigos, por amigos del lugar donde vivias, se enteraran de como fue o era tu vida y no hicieran o dijeran nada.

No seria irreal? Pensar que alguien que "apoya" a una copiona de tus diseƱos, y esta en pro del Indigenismo, de la paz, o de la niƱez, o de la vida... haya sido capaz de opinar de un estado mental que desconocia absolutamente? No es capaz de diagnosticar ni un doctor de lejos y Yo no he hablado en aƱos con Nadie que No sea Mi Cliente.

Solo me "he enterado" de cosas, de situaciones, por "otros" y normalmente, pues sigo igual en eso, a mi no me gusta enterarme de chismes, ni me regocijo de cuando a alguien le pasa un mal, eso, seria tenerle envidia a alguien, al contrario intento apoyar a esas gentes que a veces se pasan de chismosas e ignorantes. 

Digo, hoy en dia todos vivimos del Internet, y si eres de un rancho, lo mas probable es que te llegue el rumor, el gossip.

Y yo no se que tiene Sayulita, pero a mi me dejo de gustar por que habia demasiada avaricia, demasiada prepotencia, demasiada mentira.

Eran contados los negocios que se dedicaban a hacer las cosas bien, la mayoria era tal cual, un simple negocio, que hacia dinero, y san pancho igual, y todo era lo mismo. Y me
Aburro.

Por que si eso percibi era por que eso pasaba en mi casa, en el ambiente que estaba Yo permitiendo.
Si hubiera estado sola, como lo pedi a gritos millones de veces, si me hubiera rodeado de mis amigos. (La gente que Yo consideraba importante, de mis personas faboritas, gente como Yo, un poco diferente).

Nada de eso hubiera pasado, pero como crees que alguien de tan poco tiempo iba a poder conocer Todo de lo que era capaz.

Dejar a mi Papa Jorge solo, alla en sonora, no fue facil, preocuparme de "su herencia" de quien iba a ver por mi madre y hermanas, no era sencillo, y mantener unas cosas y casas durante 10 aƱos, con miedo, un miedo infundado, aprovechandose del dolor de la muerte de mi  padre, una autoestima destruida, y muchos saben que mi autoestima estaba muy bien a pesar de tanta estupidez, antes de la muerte de mi padre, pero asustarme con muerte, con violaciones, con golpes, con abusos, explotarme economicamente, abusar de metodos anticonceptivos, criticar mi manera de trabajar cuando era lo que me daba de comer a mi, y a el household que mantenia, ignorar que otros comian tambien de mi trabajo, y gracias a plagios, por que con el diseƱo que weba meterme, me limito a decir plagio, de fotografia, lo cual es un delito aqui, y en el mundo entero, por que estas Abusando de una obra de Arte, y ver como los aƱos transcurrian y esto pasaba una y otra vez, hasta hastiarme de tanta ineptitud alrededor, pues asquea, por que te hace o bueno al menos me hace preguntarme, y todos esos paisanos de el y mios y esa gente de "Internet", que nacio ayer? Como para no conocer de donde sale la fotografia? O el diseƱo original? Que esa gente esta tan falta de creatividad, esos diseƱadores de escuela o autodenominados donde vivian cuando Yo empeze y todos se rieron?

Se reian y Criticaban pero de ellos no como,
Ni de que "digan que bonito"
"Ni de gente sin educacion que te va a visitar sin previa appointment".


Y Yo Trabajando,
Como always...



Para que cuando se rian Hoy, piensen, en esto, he sido envidiada hasta por una mujer de 60 aƱos, cuando fui maestra, ella fue capaz de olvidar a una niƱa Mexicana en un parque, inventar y propagar chismes acerca de mi, y decirme en mi cara que "odiaba haber perdido tanto tiempo, y odiaba ver como Yo sabia lo que queria en la vida".

Ese es su issue? Esa es la envidia? Y de la mala.
Que Yo siempre hago lo que me
Conviene?

Pues si ni lo haces donde te quedas?
En un messenger world?

A mi mi Padre y la gente que Yo admiro me enseƱo que NO. No te quedas ahi.

Que queria ser Yo de grande?
Muchas cosas.

Hago lo que amo?
Claro, y mis "mejores amigos", a los que llamo pendejos y ellos me dice lela, me odian, por que todavia dibujo, escribo romanticismos y corto con mis tijeritas, y probablemente, tengo espejos en todos lados hasta en el baƱo.


Esos espejos me recuerdan que soy Yo, y Yo no debo olvidar lo que quiero,
Por que lo que quiero es ser Yo, y Yo soy feliz.

Aunque te rias, aunque me digas Loca, aunque no me creas que lo voy a hacer, aunque Tu hayas sabido lo que pasaba en mi vida y en vez de decir "no mames" ella era mi amiga, mi madre paso por algo similar, digo Yo se que culero era en su casa, en vez de "despepitar" eso.
O tomar fotografias de que tan culera es su vida en realidad para tener followers infelices dantote likez ppr que Tu si estas "muy buena". Pues hubieras tenido sentido comun para ver a Tu hermana, conocida, amiga, a tu "idolito de internet" o a la que "te robon tics" pues seguir brillando con su luz, por que esa, no se apaga, y puede encender billones de velas, y hay miles que apoyo por que -Yo- no soy una culera.

Si pudiera -Yo- le enseƱaria al mundo entero a como hacer lo que Yo hago, y de eso hay testigos, pero digamos que se ardio tanto su mechita, que no pudo compartirlo bien, y prefirio tratar de apagar mi llama con chismes y mentiras, cuando Yo vivia el
Abuso, El Atosigamiento de un hombre sin madurez para defender mi trabajo, pero si para promover el de el.

Yo en base a esfuerzo y dedicacion me compre mis cosas, Todas las ventas fueron a traves de mi mercadito "Local", por que en Internet, uno se hace sus espacios, Y Yo soy Independiente desde siempre, no esperaba aprobacion, pero pues uno trata de insmiscuir a los otros contagiandole un poco de pasion por la
Cultura de su pueblo.

Pero es cansado, cuando si no respetaba eso desde el
Inicio, no cuidaba y respetaba tu trabajo y a los clientes que les daban de comer y actuo con alevosia durante aƱos, te empiezas a preguntar, por que demonios no se va?.

Queria acabarme? 
Por que matarme casi lo logra en la carretera cuando Yo llevaba un vestido largo e iba dormida.

Matarme de tristeza por que amo a los niƱos.
Y el golpeaba a los perros. ("Para educarlos")

Tantas noches de silencios, donde se esperaba que se fuera, donde rezaba por que alguien me ayudara, con que una valiente o un valiente llegara a hablar con el y explicarle que Yo ocupaba estar sola.

Tantos vecinos, y tantos negocios del tianguis parecidos no? 
Tanto "amor" cuando no pueden ni percatarse que esa comunidad no me excluyo, si no que se "creo" una historia en base a abuso, a dolor, como le
Explicas a alguien que tus amigos tenian mas de 50 aƱos y que para ellos tenias que aguantarte por que el "era el macho"?.

Como le dices al mundo soy Sonorense y a mi mi Padre no me
Violo, me educo "recio", tenia mal genio, y la verdad en Hermosillo, somos muy chingadamente mal hablados, algunos, lo que no andamos con "jaladas" ni con "mentiras", los que hablamos de Frente, y sin chismes, y con Verdades.

Que espero? Venganza? No... creo que Dios, a final de cuentas pone todo en su sitio, y Yo ni por dignidad le buscaria el rabito, ni para gritarle, pero si le diria, a el y a su tribe, no que Yo era la paranoica? Pues explicame como si Yo no vendia un centimo y no vendo un centimo alrededor mio, jamas, hay tanta vieja copiona, y Tu wey, y mi hermana por ejemplo, ya sabia que pedo con tu vida, El
chisme tarado, estaba muy cerca, tan cerca como viejas que me
Han odiado desde que nacieron, y por Internet mas, por que tiene tu "mentalidad" y la de muchos paisanos tuyos, "de yo" "yo lo pense primero", "yo lo hago tambien", "yo lo copio y lo disemino alrededor donde "nadie usa el internet"... o donde a nadie "ella le cae bien", pero Y luego? 

Que es La Etica? Donde queda eso? 

Que va a decir tu hijo de Ti?
Si es que es una balita para el Internet.

Pues no se, a mi me gustaria que dijera, wow,
Eso, lo creo mi Madre, impuso una tendencia en base a verdadero cariƱo por Mexico, haciendo con amor su trabajo, y a cada una de sus clientes tratandola con la mayor importancia posible, aunque nunca las viera, y aun mas si las conociera en persona, mostrandose como Soy, soy la misma pinche Aida, que habla hasta con las piedras, que dice cosas incomprensibles en el momento que con los aƱos van tomando forma...

Como le dices Tu a un escritor wannabe, que se calle?.

Como amas algo que no conoces?

Como Conoces algo si te burlas?

Y como creas algo Novedoso de algo Viejo, 
Sin que Nadie se de cuenta, 
Que eso es lo que has hecho desde que llegaste a este mundo, darle vida a lo "viejo" a lo de "siempre"

EnseƱarle a la gente que "se puede Aceptar" a un "moreno" a "un cuatro ojos" a un "indigena" a un "chaparrito" creale autoestima a un cumulo de humanos, dar tu opinion de el "bullying" y decir esta absolutamente ma y Yo no lo "avalo".

Eso hago, "lo que intento hacer", -Eticamente- Matematicamente- y -Fisicamente- reconstruyo la realidad que me
Rodea, (me gustaria decir que -Biologicamente- pero neta, no soy tan Pro-) 

cada
Cliente es una Historia, Todos es diferente, es una vida, a veces me la cuentan y otras veces No, y Esas personas, ellos han estado ahi para apoyarme aƱo tras aƱo, vida tras vida, por que asi, es la Vida.

Esta soy Yo, un ser que crea.

Y Cree que Artista es una palabra por la que hay que trabajar, y para ser diseƱador, primero debes de ser Tu mismo.

Me admiro de mi misma, y me daba vergĆ¼enza aceptarlo, que Me deje, golpear, abusar, pero creia, firmemente en la palabra del humano...

Que es lo mas valioso, La palabra.
Hoy me cuesta creer y cuando veo actos "que no concuerdan" doy el beneficio de la duda, pero busco "otra opcion".

Y Ya...
Over. 
Pensamientos de Lunes 
Blogeando acerca de mi, por que Yo, a veces me pierdo, y wondereo quien soy, y releerme y escribir me ayuda a acordarme de quien era Yo antes de perderme con un ser que se dedico a convencerme que Yo no tenia 'Nada', que Yo no era 'Nadie' Y no era 'smart' por tener un tono diferente, por 'ser diferente' y por pedirle que trabajara, y se responsabilizara de sus actos.

Ojala un dia alguien le haga entrar en razon y que comprenda que Yo, me ausente, corporal y mentalmente desde el primer dia que ignoro el abuso y cometio el abuso.

Que si Yo me quede era por que Yo pagaba la renta.
Y mis perros estaban ahi.